Don't Support the Guide - Chapter 10

Peter lightly nudged Samuel. His smiling face held a pure sense of anticipation for the imprint he, too, would one day experience.

Lying on the bed, Samuel blinked up at the ceiling. No matter how close they were, he had no desire to share that intimate moment with Peter. But perhaps he could share at least a fraction of what had been on his mind.

Carefully, Samuel chose his words with the utmost caution. And in the space left behind, a small, precious truth remained.

“I was glad to be born a Guide.”

“Hah. Unbelievable. To think I’d ever hear those words from you, Samuel Nora.”

Clicking his tongue in mock exasperation, Peter yanked the blanket over his head and flopped down. Samuel swallowed back the laughter that kept threatening to rise and closed his eyes.

It was the happiest night of his life.

***

Adrian, who had been signing documents, suddenly checked his necklace.

It had turned orange, but traces of green still lingered like impurities. It was a color that felt strangely unfamiliar to him.

Even when he showed no signs of an imminent outburst, Adrian’s body was never in perfect condition. It was only natural—he had been relentlessly using his abilities for seven years, yet the amount of guiding he had received was nowhere near enough to compensate.

Enduring the guiding was just as difficult as the physical pain. When he was younger, he had even less immunity to the nausea that accompanied it, making him far more sensitive. He only forced himself to undergo guiding when he truly felt like he was on the verge of death. Otherwise, he preferred to take guiding pills instead.

“I haven’t taken a single one since yesterday.”

Adrian stared blankly at the guiding pills on his desk. He had picked up a new bottle just yesterday and, out of habit, had placed them within easy reach—on the desk, in drawers, anywhere his hand might naturally go.

And yet, he found himself wondering, “Do I really need to keep as many around as I used to?” The thought was arrogant, but it amused him.

Adrian let out a small chuckle. Just then, he realized the appointed time was drawing near.

Right on cue, he heard footsteps approaching, followed by a knock at the door.

“Come in.”

“Good evening, Major.”

Samuel entered, his posture stiff with military discipline befitting a new recruit. Adrian set aside what he was doing and moved toward the sofa.

“Have you eaten?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Over here.”

The seating arrangement followed the shape of a square table, with sofas on three sides. Adrian took the most prominent seat, a single-person sofa at the head of the arrangement. Samuel chose the sofa diagonally across from him.

“We’ll start the guiding right away.”

Adrian extended his hand. Samuel swallowed dryly before carefully taking it.

As the energy began to flow, Adrian instinctively closed his eyes. A strained sound almost escaped his throat, but he swallowed it down.

“…….”

Old pain was often difficult to notice—but once it was healed, one became acutely aware of how much they had been suffering all along.

He had thought he was in relatively good shape today. But the moment Samuel’s guiding took effect, his body loosened, the tension dissolving in a wave of relief. Only now did Adrian realize that he hadn’t been well at all—not even for half the day.

“Just from this much…?”

Compared to everything he had endured in his life, this sensation felt almost indulgent. He nearly scoffed at himself.

Instead, he let his rigid posture relax just a little and turned his gaze toward Samuel.

“Got something to say?”

“…Sir?”

“You keep staring.”

Even with his eyes closed, Adrian could still feel the weight of Samuel’s gaze. It wasn’t hard to notice. Samuel, on the other hand, seemed startled by the remark. Through his half-lidded vision, Adrian saw him wet his lips hesitantly.

“I was just wondering… if you’ve eaten, sir.”

“I have.”

“…….”

“You? Nothing out of the ordinary?”

Samuel blinked, his expression asking what Adrian meant. Adrian simply shook his head with a faint smirk.

“If not, then that’s good.”

Silence followed.

Adrian was never one to talk much. He wasn’t sure about Samuel, but a newly appointed second lieutenant would probably find it difficult to strike up casual conversation with a battalion commander.

Even back when he was dragged around high society, Adrian was always the one answering questions rather than asking them. He had never known what to talk about with people he wasn’t close to.

And if he were to ask something he was genuinely curious about… that would be dangerous.

Because it wasn’t just curiosity. It was a craving—one he had no business indulging.

The moment he held Samuel’s hand, he wanted to pull him closer. Bury his face against the curve of his neck, breathe in both the guiding energy and the warmth of his skin.

Adrian tightened his grip, as if trying to hold onto what little self-restraint he had left.

“Hah.”

He already knew how overwhelming this sensation could be. And pretending he didn’t know—ignoring a pleasure he had already experienced—was no easy feat.

He had never realized he was this weak to desire.

“Is your posture uncomfortable?”

His posture?

Adrian’s gaze drifted, almost by instinct, to the empty space beside Samuel on the sofa—a long, unoccupied stretch of cushion.

“Yeah, uncomfortable.”

It was easier to make up an excuse than to fight his urges. Before Samuel could say anything, Adrian moved closer, settling beside him.

Only a hand’s breadth remained between them. Samuel barely concealed a sharp intake of breath, his throat bobbing.

“Uncomfortable?”

“…No, sir.”

His face said otherwise. He looked completely ill at ease.

Adrian swallowed down a laugh. He knew how unsettling it must be to have a superior suddenly invade his space. But he didn’t feel like holding back anymore.

Just sitting close to him was enough to soothe the gnawing hunger for guiding energy that had been leaking from Samuel. Now that he had shifted positions, their clasped hands had switched sides, and they had to let go for a brief moment to readjust.

Even that fleeting loss of contact felt unbearable.

Now that they were side by side, Samuel’s scent reached him more clearly—warmer than freshly laundered clothes, comforting in a way that settled deep into Adrian’s chest.

Satisfied, he leaned back into the sofa.

“Even if it’s uncomfortable or awkward, just endure it for a bit. I’ll let you go in an hour.”

“It’s awkward, but not uncomfortable.”

“…….”

“I told you that I liked it.”

Me? When?

Adrian lifted his head in a daze.

“Guiding you, Major.”

“Ah.”

For once, Adrian was at a loss for words. His eyes flickered, his expression—one he might make only once every few years—strangely unreadable.

Samuel, perhaps feeling embarrassed, lowered his gaze to the floor.

“It’s an honor for any Guide to assist the Light of Justice.”

It was the kind of praise Adrian had heard countless times before. Yet today, for some reason, it felt like a wall being drawn between them.

Before he even realized it, he felt disappointed. Though he didn’t quite grasp that he was disappointed.

“In fact, I owe you my life, sir.”

“Do you?”

“Do you remember the battle on the Goyard Plains, seven years ago?”

“Of course. It was my first battle.”

“The hostages you rescued from the enemy that day were me and my younger brother.”

“That was you?”

Adrian’s eyes widened.

Meeting his gaze for the first time, Samuel nodded with a small smile.

The Battle of Goyard Plains had been utter chaos.

It was the battle that had thrust Adrian—then just a green recruit—into the spotlight. It was also the final war against their long-standing enemy. Adrian had led an unexpected counterattack, annihilated the opposing forces, and even managed to rescue the hostages they had taken.

But the battle had been anything but easy.

By the time Adrian had wiped out the enemy, he was on the verge of collapse. He had never experienced such complete depletion of his guiding energy before.

His hypersensitive nerves had felt like they were being shredded with a blade. Each guiding pill he had chewed through tasted like sand against his tongue.

Yet, giving up was never an option. There were no available reinforcements—if he didn’t keep going, every civilian taken hostage would die.

Protecting them was the duty of the Lesadian Empire’s Special Esper Forces. Even knowing that duty would destroy his body, Adrian had forced himself forward.

“There were only four survivors among the hostages. They all looked younger than me.”

“You remember perfectly.”

“And you were one of them.”

Adrian repeated the words to herself, almost in awe, while Samuel smiled faintly.

The conditions back then had been brutal—biting cold, a blizzard raging around them. Adrian had been certain she was going to die. Even if she managed to save the hostages, she was convinced she would succumb to an outburst.

After securing the escape of the captives and wiping out the remaining enemy forces, Adrian had collapsed on the spot. Her entire body screamed in agony, and even the faintest sound—like an ant crawling—thundered through her skull.

Her consciousness had faded. When she came to, she was in a hospital bed, her guiding energy inexplicably restored to normal levels.

From that moment on, she had believed that losing consciousness could delay the onset of an outburst. So whenever she was in danger, she had forced herself to pass out—by hitting her head, by inflicting wounds on herself. It wasn’t as effective as that first time, but it wasn’t entirely useless either.

“I always wanted to thank you if we ever met again.”

“I only did my duty.”

“Not everyone would see it that way.”

Adrian studied Samuel, who seemed lost in thought.

So this is the life I saved back then.

The idea struck her as strangely amusing. Yet, at the same time, this meeting felt unmistakably like fate.

“In a way, we’ve saved each other.”

“…….”

“I saved you in the past. And last night, you saved me.”

“To be precise, I’ve saved you twice.”

“What?”

Samuel glanced at her cautiously, then absently brushed his fingers over his lips.

“I was already a Guide back then.”

“No way—”

“You told us to run, but I went back.”

Adrian didn’t need him to elaborate. She could already picture what had happened next.

“And I found you—collapsed, unconscious.”

“…….”

“I saw your fingers trembling and realized you were in a state of guiding depletion. I knew I didn’t have your permission, but legally—”

“You don’t have to talk about the law.”

Just as a Guide’s refusal loses validity when an Esper is at risk of an outburst, an Esper in that state cannot exercise the right to reject guiding.

“…It was my first kiss.”

So that’s why he keeps biting his lip?

“…Ah.”

Only then did Adrian realize she had been staring at Samuel’s lips the entire time.

Quickly, she turned her gaze to the window.

The sun was shining brightly, the sky perfectly clear—just like the day she had woken up in that hospital bed all those years ago.