Hestia and the Pitiful Beasts - Chapter 2

“Damn it, I never thought I’d see your chest in a council meeting. Why? If you were going to dress like that, why not just walk in naked?”

As soon as they arrived at the Crown Princess’s palace, Erei burst out in frustration. His words grew increasingly insolent until, suddenly, he threw off his uniform jacket and hurled it at Hestia. With a sharp whip, the jacket flew through the air—only to be intercepted mid-flight by Lapinan, who had been walking alongside them.

“That’s dangerous, Erei.”

Lapinan calmly folded the jacket in half as he spoke. Erei waved his hand dismissively, irritated.

“Spare me the lecture and just drape that over her already, Captain of the Guard.”

There was no point in reasoning with someone who refused to listen. Lapinan chose not to waste his breath and instead turned his attention directly to Hestia.

“Your Majesty, when will you finally correct this reckless man’s speech?”

At this, Hestia nodded thoughtfully, as though giving the matter serious consideration, and replied in a measured tone:

“Wait and see. I have my plans.”

“While you’re at it, make sure he understands that I’m technically his superior.”

“Hmm… I’ll take that under advisement.”

Not to be outdone, Erei bristled again.
“Take it under advisement, my ass! You’ve got no limits when it comes to insulting the loyal servant who’s risked his life to support you.”

“And you’ve got no sense of propriety when speaking to your liege. Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten your promise to use proper honorifics once I ascend the throne?”

“Don’t rush me. You haven’t even had your coronation yet.”

“Silence. Keep pushing your luck, and I’ll appoint you as the Emperor’s personal captain of the guard.”

“…I’ll shut up.”

Though the title captain of the guard might sound impressive, in reality, it was akin to being a glorified attendant, shadowing the Emperor at every waking moment. For someone like Erei Lyn, who broke out in figurative hives at the mere mention of prestigious roles, it was nothing short of a nightmare posting.

During Hestia’s time as Crown Princess, Erei had habitually referred to her with casual terms like “that one” and “this one,” peppering his speech with vulgarities for good measure. However, if he were to become the Emperor’s personal captain of the guard, he would have to adopt a formal tone and address her with extreme reverence all day long.

Your Majesty, your grace is immeasurable…” If he couldn’t stomach that, his only alternative would be to become even more taciturn than Lapinan, which was utterly incompatible with his nature.

In the end, Erei reluctantly held his tongue, trailing behind as Hestia allowed Lapinan to drape the jacket over her shoulders. The oversized garment hung down to nearly her knees, making it almost laughable that she had managed to convincingly pass herself off as a man for so long. But anyone who had seen how much effort she had poured into maintaining that deception would think twice before mocking her.

At that moment, Erei jabbed a finger in Lapinan’s direction.

“What do you mean? Isn’t this guy going to stay on as captain of the guard?”

Lapinan shrugged nonchalantly in response. Instead, it was Hestia who answered.

“I’m appointing him as Chancellor.”

“A soldier as Chancellor?”

“He’s too clever to waste on grunt work. I intend to make full use of him.”

“Fair enough. Then what about me?”

“…Hmm?”

Caught off guard by the unexpected follow-up, Hestia blinked in surprise. Erei looked completely serious.

“What are you planning to do with my talents?”

“Well… you see… um…”

“Your Majesty,” Lapinan interjected smoothly, “why not simply appoint him as captain of the guard? At least then his physical abilities can be put to good use.”

Was he trying to help Hestia out of an awkward situation? More likely, he just wanted to provoke Erei, as always. Sure enough, the two insufferable loyalists immediately put the Emperor herself on the back burner and began trading barbs.

“Listen, Lapinan. Just because your hair is going white doesn’t mean I’m going to start respecting you like some kind of elder. Watch yourself.”

“If you think this hair is white, it’s a sign that there’s something wrong with your eyesight. Perhaps your vision is failing prematurely.”

“What sand dune are you panning for gold on? How on earth does that look blond to you? It’s white as snow.”

“Incorrect. It’s a rare blend of white and gold. Judging by your accurate description, I take it your eyesight is perfectly fine after all.”

“I worry about how many bureaucrats will collapse from frustration once you’re Chancellor.”

“No need to worry. I’ll make sure they collapse from overwork long before frustration can set in.”

“I really don’t find your jokes funny,” Erei muttered.

“They’re not jokes,” Lapinan replied evenly.

“…Then I pity the bureaucrats,” Erei sighed, for once giving up the argument first. Perhaps he realized that pressing further could put him at risk of becoming one of those unfortunate bureaucrats himself.

The two of them, who worked together seamlessly on the battlefield as if they were born to the same mother, would invariably end up bickering whenever they were in casual settings. Whether their relationship was good or bad was anyone’s guess.

Hestia, unable to stand their constant arguing, waved her arms between them as if shooing them apart and said, “That’s enough for today. My ears are hurting.”

“But, Hestia, he started it…” Erei began to protest.

“Your Majesty, please consider formally resolving the issue of titles and…” Lapinan interjected.

“Both of you, shut up!” Hestia snapped.

“……”

“……”

Only when she got serious did they finally understand. As the two fell silent, Hestia passed between them, suppressing a smirk.

Tomorrow, she would leave the Crown Princess’s palace and move into the Emperor’s palace. Inside the palace, the sound of servants busily packing her belongings echoed noisily. To escape the clamor and to mark her last day here, she decided to take a slow walk through the Crown Princess’s garden.

At the edge of the pond, where the water lapped gently at her ankles, she suddenly called out.

“Erei.”

“Hmm?”

Erei’s response was as tender as if he had never been causing trouble moments ago. Hestia could picture his slightly raised eyebrows and the steady gaze that would be boring into her. But she didn’t turn to face him. Instead, she kept her fingers fiddling with the hem of the military jacket draped over her shoulders and gave him her answer.

“Tomorrow, as soon as the coronation ends, take a squad to the Drang Mountains and deal with the bandits there. I’ve heard some drifters have been looting farms, taking advantage of the chaos caused by the war.”

The surface of the pond rippled gently where her ankles dipped, endlessly spreading circles across the water. Was she thinking about the poor farmers suffering under the bandits? Whatever it was, Hestia’s gaze remained fixed on the concentric ripples as her lips moved silently.

Watching her, Erei tilted his head and gave a dry chuckle.

“The Drang Mountains? That’s practically the southern border. You’re sending me on a long journey before I’ve even had time to rest?”

A faint hint of bitterness slipped through his smirk. To lead a squad of a hundred men to the southern border, eliminate the bandits, and return to the capital would take at least a month. If he went alone, it would take less than half that time, but regardless…

To be absent from Hestia’s side for thirty days was no small disappointment to him.

It wasn’t just about being near the Emperor—it wasn’t as though he cared about the throne or the palace. It was about being near her. To be separated from her, even briefly, was an irksome thought. If he could say it outright, his sentiment would be clear: Do you not miss me even a little?

Such was his unspoken grievance.

Hestia, fully aware of what he was thinking, always pretended not to notice.

“Remember,” she said, her voice suddenly cold, turning to face him. “Leave no criminals alive. Kill them all.”

Erei smiled faintly, crossing his arms.

“That’s my specialty.”

But Hestia wasn’t done.

“Cut off their heads and display them on the border. Bring me only the head of their leader. As for their bodies, tear them limb from limb and scatter them to feed the wild animals. If the animals are well-fed, they won’t come down to the farms for food. And if there are any villagers who lost family to those bandits and wish for revenge, gouge out the eyes of the criminals while they’re still alive and give them to the villagers. Understood?”

“That’s… a bit much. Do you have any idea how unpleasant it feels to gouge out someone’s eyes? They’re really slippery and slimy.”

“Does it matter if I know how it feels?”

“…Well, no, I suppose not.”

For a brief moment, an entirely different kind of smile spread across Erei’s lips, one that hadn’t been there before. Hestia quickly averted her gaze.

“Good. Then one last thing: bring back any children who’ve lost their parents to the bandits. Take them all to the capital. That’s all.”

“Damn, so now I have to play nanny on the way back, too?”

“Are you saying you can’t handle it?”

“As if.”

Erei’s hand, which had drawn closer without her noticing, suddenly lifted a handful of her jet-black hair. The touch was oddly gentle, almost affectionate. His piercing blue eyes, which swept over her as if taking her measure, were so tender they were almost ticklish. The contrast with his perpetually brazen words was disorienting.

“It’s not like this is my first time,” he said.

“……”

“I’ll bet even a three-year-old wouldn’t be as much work as you are.”

“…Get lost.”

With a sharp movement, Hestia swatted his hand away.

Standing a few steps back, Lapinan, who had been silently observing, suddenly looked up at the sky with a complex expression. A faint sigh escaped his lips just as Hestia turned abruptly and called out to him.

“Lapinan.”

“Yes.”

He instantly straightened his expression.

“Stay behind for a bit. I need to discuss your appointment as Chancellor.”

In other words, everyone else was dismissed.

Erei raised an eyebrow but didn’t protest. Straightening his posture, he shrugged.
“I was leaving anyway. I’ve got my hands full gathering my squad.”

“Wait, Erei—take your uniform…”

“Keep wearing it, Your Majesty.”

His voice cut her off abruptly. Before she could remove the jacket from her shoulders, Erei seized her hands in a swift, practiced motion. In one bold movement, his lips brushed against hers in a firm kiss.

If he had the chance, he might have deepened it, but her tightly sealed lips denied him entry. Even as he slowly pulled away, his tongue lightly grazed her lips in a teasing farewell. His piercing blue eyes lingered on her, as if searching for an opening.

In situations like this, it was always Hestia who broke eye contact first.

“Get out. Before I kill you,” she hissed, her voice trembling with suppressed fury.

Finally, Erei released her wrists with a satisfied smile.

“As you command.”

He leaned close to her ear, whispering softly, before tugging the jacket tighter around her shoulders. It was fastened so snugly that it was impossible to tell what she was wearing underneath. Even then, as if dissatisfied, he squinted at her critically, then glanced between Hestia and Lapinan with a peculiar look before walking off, muttering under his breath.

“Bandit hunting? How dull. She could’ve just ordered me to wipe out an entire country…”

For a soldier with even a modicum of sense, his words were unthinkable, especially less than a week after the war’s end. But Erei said them as casually as one might discuss the weather.

It was, after all, typical of him. Watching this spectacle unfold, as he had so many times before, Lapinan muttered under his breath with a heavy sigh.

“He’s been indulged far too much from the start.”

A wise Emperor should never lose their temper with a forthright subordinate. Yet Hestia could only press her fingers to her temple, as though trying to ward off a headache.

Once the sound of Erei’s footsteps had fully faded, Lapinan offered his hand to Hestia, gently guiding her toward the nearest shade. She allowed him to lead her to a comfortable rocking chair beneath the thick greenery. As she reclined, she braced herself for the lecture she knew was coming.

“What do you intend to do about him?”