Swallowed - Chapter 53

Seyeong’s heart plummeted. She couldn’t believe what she had just heard from Jaeha’s mouth. Her ears weren’t broken; she could hear perfectly fine…

Lost and with her eyes darting around, Seyeong looked up at Jaeha, then slowly lowered her gaze. She saw his hand, still tightly holding hers even as he said they should end things.

“H-Hey, Mister, I, I haven’t… Ugh…”

She was so flustered that she tried to speak as if singing, but the words wouldn’t come out right and got tangled. Even her tongue felt paralyzed, stiff and uncooperative.

“Yes, there’s still time left. But it feels like I’m holding a ticking time bomb, and I can’t take it anymore.”

“…”

“If your feelings aren’t going to change in two months and we’re going to break up anyway, I don’t want to be strung along any longer.”

None of Jaeha’s words registered. Before she knew it, Seyeong was shedding tears, drop by drop. Unlike crying, the tears fell without even pooling in her eyes.

She couldn’t deny that she was stringing Jaeha along. Today was the end result of her selfishness. Han Seyeong’s selfishness, wanting happiness without accepting his heart.

“We made a lot of memories, right? I did all the ‘firsts’ I wanted to do with you. We had fun doing what you said we should do, right?”

Two months of memories weren’t enough. She wanted to make even more memories, so that even without Jaeha, she could endure each day by reminiscing about them.

“I… haven’t… done… everything…”

She barely managed to squeeze out the words as she looked up at Jaeha. His face looked pained, yet also relieved.

“Yeah, we haven’t done everything. But what’s going to change in just two more months?”

“…”

That was true too, so Seyeong couldn’t say anything. From the start, four months was too short. She was just being greedy. It was a desperate struggle. Just one more day, please, just one more day.

Seeing her unable to let go and just shedding tears at his words of breaking up, Jaeha scolded her with a troubled expression.

“Why are you crying?”

Knowing she had no right to cry, Seyeong clamped her mouth shut. But she couldn’t control her tears.

“You were thinking you’d leave satisfied if we dated for two more months, but did you ever think about me, the one left behind?”

Jaeha left behind. Seyeong had been deliberately avoiding thinking about that, and now that it was pointed out, she had nothing to say. She had selfishly assumed that Jaeha would be fine, that he would meet another girl, go to the army, and grow up. That he would quickly forget someone like her.

Jaeha read her thoughts just from her expression, and his voice sharpened.

“Do you think so little of my feelings?”

“N-No.”

She shook her head, denying it. No, no, that’s not it. I never thought little of them. But her words didn’t reach Jaeha.

“You’ll probably just go to class and live your life like nothing happened, right? Maybe you’ll think of me for a moment before you go to sleep at night? ‘I used to sleep with Baek Jaeha,’ something like that? That’s all I am to you, isn’t it?”

That was absolutely not true. But Seyeong remembered how she had made assumptions about “Jaeha left behind” and froze as if she had been hit. She was speechless.

“I can’t do that. If you leave and all that’s left are memories, I’ll go crazy. I’ve been in love with Han Seyeong since I was seventeen, and for two years, I lived only thinking about meeting Han Seyeong, and finally, Han Seyeong and I fell in love…”

Jaeha’s voice trembled violently, then became damp with tears. He couldn’t continue speaking and took a deep breath, then squeezed his eyes shut. A hot tear fell. His eyes were full of heat when he opened them again.

“It would be easier for me to die than to live without you.”

“Baek Jaeha!”

“It’s okay. You’re going to completely erase me again anyway. You won’t even know if I die, will you?”

It sounded sarcastic, but it was sincere. Seyeong could also feel in his words the resentment towards her for completely cutting off contact for the past two years. He had been hurt, even if he pretended otherwise.

Seyeong opened the door to her house with her left hand, entering the password. Then she roughly pulled Jaeha inside. The reality of dragging her sun into the house filled with the stench of death that she so detested and abhorred was devastating.

Jaeha, led by Seyeong’s hand, was pushed inside without a moment to collect himself. The door slammed shut loudly behind them. The silence that filled the dim house pressed down on them.

Jaeha quietly met Seyeong’s gaze, his eyes wet. Seyeong was on edge, as if standing on a cliff with thorns all over her body. Just looking at her made Jaeha’s heart ache.

“I’m… a murderer’s daughter…”

Seyeong, who had barely recovered her voice by biting her tongue, mumbled as if singing a gloomy song. Even though she said it herself, she felt like an invisible hand was gripping her throat, making it hard to breathe.

Jaeha frowned at Seyeong’s words and quickly grabbed her as she staggered. But Seyeong roughly shook off his hand and took a step back, then gasped in surprise when her back hit the door.

“Is it because of your mother? It’s not, is it? I’m not stupid enough to fall for such malicious talk. Even if there are people who believe that, I don’t.”

“That’s right.”

“Huh?”

“She’s someone who said she regrets that I lived and didn’t die.”

Jaeha’s expression vanished for a moment. He was so shocked that he was too stunned to know how to respond.

“I don’t know if she really touched the brakes. But that woman definitely wanted my dad and me to die. Because of money…”

If she hadn’t heard that phone call, Seyeong would have protested that her mother was not some kind of villain and tried to correct him. No matter how difficult the fight, she would never have let him spread such rumors.

But the content of the call was tantamount to admitting her crime. She didn’t directly say that she had caused the accident, but she was openly saying that Seyeong should have died with her husband. She was sincerely regretting that her daughter hadn’t died with them.

Laughter came out. But from her wide eyes and mouth came tears and sobs. Seyeong didn’t want to, so she lowered her head and covered her face with her hands.

Jaeha’s heart ached so much at Seyeong’s self-deprecating laughter that he let go of his thoughts and hugged Seyeong tightly. He felt like Seyeong would collapse if he didn’t. Seyeong tried to push him away, but Jaeha’s grip was stronger. Exhausted from pushing Jaeha away, Seyeong buried her face in his chest and swallowed her sobs.

“I… don’t have the confidence… to date you…”

Of course, she was also hesitant to date him because of her mother’s notoriety. She understood why Jaeha’s mother was against it. Seyeong was worried because she thought the same way. If that money-grubber found out about Jaeha’s family, she would definitely come running with her eyes blazing, talking about their insignificant blood ties.

But that was secondary. What bound Seyeong even more was the woman’s blood flowing through her veins.

‘Do you think I was like this from the beginning? I’m just like this because life is hard. Love? That doesn’t last long. The important thing is money. But do you know what your dad did? He poured all the money he earned into that insurance policy, saying he would give you a decent inheritance. He cut back on food and didn’t buy things, saving it all for you. What about me? Why do I have to live without eating and without buying things? What good is it if you live well after I die?’

The woman smirked at Seyeong with a brazen face.

‘Still, I’m your mother, so you’re not going to eat all that money by yourself, are you? I deserve to be compensated for my life of living with such a man. I’m not asking for much. Just give me half.’

Seyeong felt like her entire life of thinking of this woman as her mother and loving her was being denied. Her mother and father had definitely been a good couple. They fought and said harsh things to each other, but they quickly made up and went out to eat. It was a scene seen in every household. Seyeong had no doubt that she had grown up being loved.

But it was all a lie. She didn’t know what aspects of this woman she had grown up seeing, the woman in front of her was so unfamiliar. As if she was finally revealing her true colors, she was openly revealing her inner thoughts.

‘Don’t look at me like I’m a ghost. You’re my daughter after all. We’re the type who ultimately value ourselves more than our children or husbands.’

To Seyeong, the woman’s words were like a curse. She screamed and struggled, denying it, but the woman laughed in a chillingly high voice.

“Then you’re losing.”

Jaeha, who was holding Seyeong so tightly that it hurt, said as if angry. His tone was definitely angry, but his voice was wet. It was a voice tightly suppressed, as if holding back tears.

Seyeong, not understanding what he meant by losing, raised her head and looked at Jaeha. It pained her to see tears welling up in his beautiful eyes, so she cupped his cheeks and wiped his eyes with her thumbs. But that only made more tears come out. She had touched him to stop him from crying, but it only made it worse. She tried to take her hands away, but Jaeha grabbed them and wouldn’t let go.

“You’re losing to your mother. She already ruined your school days, and now you want to give up your happiness because of her?”

Seyeong stared blankly at Jaeha. The words “losing to that woman” stabbed and hit her heart. Giving up happiness because of that person. Giving up Baek Jaeha because of that person. It wasn’t that she didn’t know, but hearing it from Jaeha’s mouth was shocking.

“No matter what kind of person your mother is, no matter what she did, just think about yourself and act. Be true to your feelings and want me, be greedy for me.”

“Jaeha.”

“I don’t care if your mother is a murderer or a money-grubber. I only know Han Seyeong, and Han Seyeong is someone who deserves to be loved.”