The One Who Won't Be Abandoned - Chapter 7

Having traveled the path once before, I was able to make my way to the village more quickly this time. Still, I didn’t slow my pace, driven by the lingering image of Andre’s forlorn expression as he stood by the cabin door, watching me leave. The thought made my heart ache, urging my feet to move faster.

The village looked much the same as before—gloomy and tense. Every villager I passed wore a somber, hardened expression that added to the heavy atmosphere. It was hard not to feel the weight of their mood, and I found myself instinctively hunching my shoulders.

Despite having plenty of matches left at the cabin, I bought a couple of extra boxes first thing, just to be safe. Then, I headed to the shop where I had purchased food during my last trip. I ordered much the same items as before—potatoes and jerky, staples that would last. But this time, I also bought some grains. Andre was still growing, and I wanted to ensure he had a more balanced diet.

I picked out a sack of barley and a bag of thick beans. The load was heavy, and I struggled to shoulder it all. The shopkeeper, a middle-aged woman, watched me with a faintly displeased look in her eyes.

“My goodness,” she said, shaking her head. “Your parents must be heartless, sending a frail daughter to carry all this. A few coins for a porter wouldn’t kill them.”

Her tone wasn’t sympathetic—if anything, it was laced with annoyance. She had already suggested hiring a delivery boy multiple times, and each time I’d declined. Her patience had clearly worn thin.

“I chose to carry it myself,” I replied simply.

“Is there anything else you need?” she asked brusquely. “We just got in some good-quality flour.”

Just moments ago, she had been pretending to worry about my load; now she seemed more concerned with making another sale. Besides, flour was twice as expensive as the barley I’d bought.

“No, I’m fine. Thank you,” I said, turning to leave.

But I hesitated before reaching the door, lingering with a question on my lips. After a moment’s pause, I turned back to the shopkeeper.

“What? Changed your mind about the flour?” she asked, already moving to grab a bag. “Of course, barley and beans alone won’t get you far. Wait here; I’ll get some for you.”

“No, it’s not that,” I stammered, nervously shifting my weight. “I was just wondering… Have you heard any news about the Kaiman Estate?”

“The Kaiman Estate?” she repeated sharply, her face twisting with sudden distaste.

The change in her demeanor was so jarring that I immediately regretted asking.

“N-never mind,” I mumbled, panicking. Without waiting for her response, I hurried out of the shop, my heart pounding.

As soon as I stepped out of the shop, hoping to catch my breath, I froze. In the distance, soldiers armed with spears were patrolling the streets, searching the shops as if looking for something—or someone.

“Oh no… not now,” I muttered under my breath, my heart hammering in my chest.

Unluckily for me, the soldiers were positioned near the path leading back to Kyal Mountain. There was no other route for me to take.

Pulling my shawl tighter around me and lowering my head, I forced my trembling legs to move. My grip tightened on the heavy bundles of supplies as I cautiously walked toward the soldiers, trying to avoid attracting attention.

When I was close enough to hear their voices, chaos erupted. With a loud crash, the owner of a trinket shop was thrown to the ground by one of the soldiers.

The middle-aged man, his brown hair streaked with gray, groaned in pain as he clutched his side. His voice rose in indignant protest as he writhed on the dirt road.

“Ah! I’m dying here! What did I do to deserve this?!”

“Shut your mouth!” barked one of the soldiers, towering over the man. “A thief who dares to profit from stolen goods dares to complain?”

The man, who had been writhing moments ago, suddenly sprang to his feet and jabbed a finger in the soldier’s face.

“Damn you! How many times do I have to tell you? I was cheated out of my money by one of the servants from the Kaiman Estate! I just took some of what I was owed!”

“Enough of your excuses!” the soldier snapped. “There’s no proof of your claim, so stop spouting nonsense. Now shut up and come quietly.”

“Proof? Of course, there’s no proof!” the man retorted, his voice rising. “The receipt, the goods, and the person who owes me—everything’s gone now that the estate burned to the ground! But I’m telling the truth!”

“Silence!” the soldier roared. “This man has committed the grave crime of trespassing in a restricted zone designated by the imperial decree. Arrest him!”

Two soldiers grabbed the man’s arms and began dragging him away. He kicked and fought, but the burly soldiers didn’t budge as they forcefully hauled him off.

Unfortunately, the direction they were moving in was toward me. My grip on my bundles tightened, my knuckles whitening as my cold, bloodless fingers trembled.

My imagination ran wild as I pictured the soldiers suddenly turning their attention to me, dropping the man, and pouncing on me instead. A chill ran down my spine, my body frozen in place as dread gripped me.

Finally, my instincts kicked in, and I turned to run, my bundles bouncing against my back as I sprinted away. Without thinking, I fled in the direction of the Kaiman Estate—the same area now forbidden by imperial decree.

It wasn’t until I collided with one of the large boundary stakes surrounding the estate’s grounds that I realized where I had ended up.

The impact knocked me backward, and I stumbled to the ground. Lifting my head, I saw the tall wooden stakes driven into the earth at regular intervals around the estate’s perimeter. Each stake bore a crimson sign warning against entry.

“Hah… hah…”

The pain from crashing into the stake and the bruises forming on my body barely registered. My eyes locked on the skeletal remains of the Kaiman Estate, and my mind went blank. Even the ragged breaths I’d been heaving froze in my chest, paralyzed by the shock.

I’d known. I’d seen the flames consuming the mansion with my own eyes the night Andre and I escaped. My mind had understood that the estate would never look the same. And yet, seeing its ruins now, the stark reality overwhelmed me. It felt like something that should never have happened had somehow been allowed to exist.

The bundles I had been clutching so tightly slipped from my grasp, landing unceremoniously at my feet. Stumbling forward as if in a daze, I moved closer to the stakes and beyond, ignoring the implicit warning they represented. My legs shook with each unsteady step, and I felt as though the ground beneath me might crumble at any moment.

As I drew nearer, the once-pristine vision of the Kaiman Estate revealed its devastated form with painful clarity. Where a vibrant green lawn and gardens filled with colorful flowers had once stretched expansively, there was now nothing but ash, dirt, and trampled remnants. Blackened debris scattered across the ruined grounds, and the white stone walls that had once gleamed brilliantly under the sun were now charred and crumbled, reduced to a pitiful shadow of their former glory.

“No… no…,” I choked, tears spilling freely down my face.

The beautiful estate that had felt like a home was gone. The gardens tended so lovingly by the head gardener, the sparkling stone walls, the laughter, and life that once filled its halls—obliterated.

I wiped my tears roughly with my sleeve, but the cleared vision only brought a sharper, more vivid view of the destruction. A sudden gust of wind howled through the ruins, unsettling the debris. A blackened, brittle piece of wood teetered and fell, and from beneath it, something caught the wind, fluttering upward.

A bonnet.

It was burned, its original color and shape lost to the flames, but I recognized it instantly. It was a Kaiman maid’s bonnet. I had worn one just like it, a cherished part of my life at the estate.

The wind carried the bonnet higher, and I could only stand frozen, watching its ascent.

I had a bonnet too. The smallest size, given to me along with a tailored maid’s uniform when I began helping around the estate. My mother had embroidered my name on it herself. It had been so precious to me. I had worn it every day, so much so that on my rare days off, I’d feel oddly bare without it.

Then it hit me—I hadn’t had my bonnet since the day we fled. I must have lost it running through the estate in search of my mother or while escaping through the dark tunnel with Andre.

“My bonnet…”

I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the fluttering bonnet as the wind carried it further and further away. A wave of loss crashed over me, suffocating and cold. I hadn’t even realized it was gone until now.

It felt stupid—so stupid and meaningless—to cry over something like a bonnet when so much more had been lost. And yet, the realization struck me with unbearable sadness.

It had been mine, something so personal and familiar amidst the chaos. Losing it now felt like losing one more thread connecting me to the life I’d had before.

And yet, as I watched the bonnet drift further into the sky, I couldn’t help but think how free it looked, carried far from the devastation of the estate.

Whose bonnet had this one been? Eliza’s, the prettiest maid, always so popular with everyone? Or Luill’s, who used to secretly hand me little handkerchiefs she made from the scraps of the lady’s dresses?

“Ugh… ugh… my bonnet…!”

Tears poured out of me in an unstoppable flood as I collapsed, clutching my chest as though the sorrow could somehow be contained if I just held on tightly enough. But it couldn’t. It spilled out, wave after wave, until I was helpless in its torrent.

“Waaah… My… sniff, my bonnet! What do I do? How can I find it?”

The realization that I would never get my bonnet back broke me. It was too much to bear, too unfair. I cried harder, louder, my voice echoing over the ruins, filled with frustration and despair—more than even the man from the market had shown as he protested his innocence.

“How can I find it now?! What am I supposed to do?!”

I had lost so much already, more than I could ever recover. But this simple, stupid thing—the bonnet—I couldn’t let go of. It symbolized everything that had been ripped from me. The hopelessness, the injustice of it all, clawed at me, and I let out an agonized scream that tore through the silence around me.

It felt like my heart was being crushed in a vice, the pain so sharp it left me gasping. At the same time, an unbearable emptiness filled my chest, like a gaping void of cold ice. It was as if the grief had teeth, biting and chewing at me, leaving nothing but shreds behind.

The emotions I had suppressed for days came crashing down like a tidal wave, drowning me in sorrow. My tears spilled uncontrollably, soaking the dusty ground beneath me as I clutched at my chest, sobbing.

I beat at my chest with both fists, like someone trying to exorcise a pain too large for their body to contain. My cries turned into hoarse, guttural wails, my voice cracking and raw as I screamed my anguish into the desolate wasteland of what had once been my home.

I didn’t care who might hear me. I didn’t care if I collapsed from exhaustion. I cried and cried, letting the suffocating weight of grief and rage spill out until I was shaking, my body trembling and drained of all strength.

* * *

The underground passage connecting the mansion to Mount Kayal had become completely inaccessible when the mansion collapsed. Ultimately, to reach Mount Kayal, one inevitably had to pass through the village. I trudged through the heart of the village, my arms dangling weakly under the weight of heavy burdens.

People passing me by stole quick glances at my face, which clearly showed signs of having shed countless tears. It dawned on me, faintly, that my half-vacant expression must have made me appear rather peculiar.

Yet I ignored the stares, pretending not to notice, and simply continued on my way. I lacked the energy to care about others’ gazes.

Finally, I left the bustling village behind and stepped onto an unfrequented road. My dragging steps came to an abrupt halt, as if my feet had become rooted to the ground.

I dropped the burdens that had felt far too heavy for me to bear. The sound of my load hitting the ground was solid and heavy.

“Should I just… not go?”

The road ahead felt impossibly long. My body, drained from weeping before the ruins, tempted me to collapse on the spot and rest.

Maybe I didn’t have to. Maybe I didn’t need to return to the cabin at all.

Andre, clever and capable as he was, could surely manage on his own. With traps set and berries scattered plentifully, he probably didn’t even need the barley or beans I’d purchased today.

I raised my head and gazed up at the massive Mount Kayal. Beneath a sky laden with dark gray storm clouds, the mountain looked eerily desolate, as if it might harbor monsters in its shadows.

But I knew there were no monsters on Mount Kayal. Instead of monsters, there was only an old, worn-out cabin standing solitary. A humble home, haphazardly cleaned and arranged as though by a child playing house. A cozy refuge, with walls to shield against the wind and rain and a fireplace to light a fire.

That cabin had become an invaluable home for me and Andre, left to survive in the mountains without a guardian. And even without me, it would remain a safe haven for Andre, just as it always had been. Even without me.

Come to think of it, there wasn’t any real reason for me to keep hiding like this. The royal soldiers couldn’t possibly recognize the faces of everyone who had once worked for the Kaiman family. I could leave for another village, find a job, and live among other people—live like a normal person.

I could ignore the words my mother had spoken as her dying wish. I’d never been a particularly obedient daughter, and I’d never had any loyalty to the Kaiman family in the first place. There was no reason for me to burden myself with the young master, who was nothing more than a nuisance.

“It’s hard enough just trying to survive on my own.”

Life was already hard enough for me. I was still young—barely more than a child myself. How could someone like me possibly take care of and protect another person? In a world where even surviving on my own was a struggle, the idea seemed absurd.

The urge to turn my back on Mount Kayal and leave it far behind surged through me like a storm. The tempting thought of starting fresh, unburdened and free, painted itself vividly in my mind. I nodded to myself, agreeing with the logic of my own thoughts.

Scraping by in the mountains couldn’t compare to blending into the warmth of human connection in a village. A new village might be wary of a stranger with no clear background at first, but no place would reject a strong and healthy worker in the end. Just as I had managed at the Kaiman estate, I was confident I could quickly find my place among unfamiliar people.

My hand brushed against the slight bulge of my skirt pocket, where I’d stashed what money I had left. Even through the thin layers of fabric, I could faintly feel the coins’ reassuring texture. It was enough to secure food and shelter until I found work. If I were lucky, I might even be able to find a modest place to live.

My unfocused gaze began to sharpen, though it trembled with hesitation. My dark brown eyes remained fixed on Mount Kayal, as though tethered to it, yet they betrayed my growing desire to turn away from it entirely.

Before my mind could fully settle on a decision, my body, unburdened by hesitation, began to move. My feet, which had seemed rooted to the ground, hesitated briefly before retreating step by step, inching away from Mount Kayal.

* * *