The Tyrant’s Beloved Doll - Chapter 12

Oh, wait—he is an adult. Setz was reminded of Raytan’s age. In the Denhelder Empire, one becomes an adult at seventeen, and Raytan was already eighteen.

Before she had returned to her twelve-year-old self—at the time when Raytan would eventually execute her—Setz had been seventeen too. Officially an adult. She never had a coming-of-age debutante ball like other nobles or royals, but technically, she had still been a grown-up.

She remembered how, just after she turned seventeen, her mother Yerena had tried to marry her off to that decrepit old duke. That plan failed only because the duke had died.

At that time, Setz had been desperately looking for an excuse to leave the palace. She was terrified that if she stayed, she’d end up being married off to some eighty-year-old man. Being newly an adult meant she could find some way to escape.

Of course, everything had fallen apart when Raytan himself took her life.

Anyway! Now that she had been given a second chance and was back five years in the past, she couldn’t let the same things happen again. Right, I shouldn’t be wasting my time obsessing over Khazaki language lessons right now, she thought. She had to be more strategic.

Setz finished off her cake, then hesitantly opened her mouth. “Brother, what do you like?”

“What?” Raytan’s eyes narrowed in confusion.

“I’m just curious, that’s all.”

She knew it was a sudden and random question. But she remembered something she read in a book once: “Know your enemy, and know yourself, and you will win a hundred battles.” Not that she wanted to fight Raytan, but understanding him might make it easier to earn his favor.

She never would have dared to ask him such a question before, but things seemed different now. At least he wasn’t telling her to go away like he used to.

“Well, I like cake and cocoa. And I like reading too. What about you, Brother? What do you enjoy?”

“……”

“Like food, or maybe a hobby or something…” Setz tried again.

“I don’t have anything like that.”

“What?” she asked, taken aback.

“I said, I don’t like anything.”

Setz was at a loss for words. She hadn’t expected that kind of answer. Just as she was about to open her mouth to say something else, Raytan continued.

“In this palace, not a single thing.”

“……”

“Nothing at all,” he said, staring blankly into space, his eyes hollow and distant. Setz couldn’t understand why, but his face looked so achingly lonely at that moment.

Hesitating, she softly ventured, “But maybe if you found something you liked, it could make life a little more enjoyable…”

“……”

“Like, if you had a favorite food, you could look forward to mealtimes. Or if you found a hobby you liked, you wouldn’t feel so bored all the time…”

“Why should I bother with that kind of thing?”

“……”

“I don’t want to waste my time finding something to enjoy in a place full of people who hate me,” he said, his voice cold and final.

Setz pressed her lips together, at a loss for what to say. She understood his feelings, in a way. For Raytan, living in the palace might feel like living in hell. No one liked him; everyone was afraid of him, avoided him, and even despised him. Even when he was bruised and hurt, not a single person showed any concern. Setz at least had Luna by her side, but Raytan had no one.

In that moment, Setz couldn’t help but feel sorry for him.

“Change your cotton,” Raytan suddenly said.

“Huh?”

“Your nosebleed.”

Setz only then realized that the cotton stuffed in her nose was completely soaked through. Why does it keep starting and stopping like this? At this point, maybe she really should call for a doctor. Feeling embarrassed, she pulled out a fresh piece of cotton from the bag Luna had packed for her.

Suddenly, she noticed Raytan’s gaze fixed intently on her.

“……”

No matter how shameless she might be, even Setz couldn’t handle someone staring at her while she shoved cotton up her nose. She wished he would look away. She gave him an awkward smile, hoping he’d take the hint and turn his head, but Raytan continued to stare.

Then, without warning, he reached out and shoved something into her nostril himself.

“Urgh!”

Setz let out a surprised grunt, her nose stinging from the sudden action.

“W-what is this?” she asked, her voice slightly nasal.

“Your blood vessels keep bursting, and you’re trying to stop the bleeding with just cotton? No wonder it’s not working, you foolish girl,” Raytan said with a hint of exasperation.

“Huh?” Setz’s voice was still muffled as she stared at him in disbelief.

“What, did you think I was poisoning you or something?”

“I-I didn’t say that!” she protested, her words fumbling.

“You sure look like you don’t trust me.”

“No, that’s not what I meant!” she insisted, flustered.

Raytan snorted in amusement, pulling a small bundle out of his pocket and tossing it onto the table in front of her.

“This is…” Setz said, her eyes widening in surprise as she looked at the bundle

“It’s cotton soaked in a medicinal substance that helps with bleeding,” Raytan explained.

“……”

“Change it every three hours. That should stop the bleeding completely in a few days.”

Setz opened the small pouch slightly, and sure enough, there were several pieces of cotton tinged with a green substance. So that’s what he put in my nose, she thought.

Still, she hadn’t expected him to give her something like this… at all.

“Th-thank you,” she said, her expression genuinely grateful. She couldn’t believe it—Raytan, of all people, was actually taking care of her in his own way!

“Was Brother worried about me after all…?”

“What?” Raytan’s expression immediately soured.

“It’s the price of the bandages, so cut out that creepy gratitude,” he said flatly.

Ah, of course. Setz’s face shifted into an expression of understanding that practically screamed, “I should’ve known.”

“But Brother, you seem to know a lot about various things,” she said, trying to change the subject. “You even know about these medicinal substances…”

Feeling a bit awkward after her earlier slip-up, she decided to offer a compliment to smooth things over.

“That’s because I end up bleeding a lot,” Raytan replied without emotion.

“……”

“If you’re done eating, open your book again.”

“……Yes,” Setz said quietly, turning her attention back to her notebook as if nothing unusual had happened. The lesson continued, but even as she worked through the problems, Setz found herself thinking about what Raytan had said.

Raytan, who often finds himself bleeding. Because he’s always getting hurt. Even when he returns battered and bruised, no one seems to care. He has to treat his wounds on his own. No wonder he knows so much about different medicinal herbs and treatments.

Raytan, who claims to like nothing. Because he can’t find anything to care about in the palace. Everyone dislikes and disregards him, like Berne does. If she were in his position, she would probably feel the same. How could anyone develop affection for a place like this palace?

A vague sense of sadness washed over her.

“You’ve memorized plenty of words and learned the grammar, so now you should be able to write a proper essay,” Raytan said, snapping her out of her thoughts.

Setz looked up in surprise.

“Write something. Anything. That’s your homework for today.”

“H-how long should it be?” she asked.

“Write as much as you think is necessary. Not that you’d be able to write much anyway,” he replied with a hint of a smirk.

He always managed to make even a simple task sound so unpleasant. Setz’s lips pursed into a small pout.

“Today, you’ll have to go back on your own. I need to see my mother,” Raytan said as he stood up, his tone leaving no room for argument.

Before Setz could say anything or try to stop him, he turned and walked away without a backward glance.

“……”

Left alone in the vast library, Setz let out a small sigh. She sat there for a moment, staring blankly at the empty notebook in front of her. The silence of the library seemed even heavier now that Raytan was gone, and she couldn’t help but feel a little lost.

Taking a deep breath, she gathered her thoughts and tried to focus on the task at hand, turning her attention back to the blank page. She knew she had a lot to think about—not just about her homework but also about everything she had learned about Raytan today.

***

Raytan’s effort had been in vain.

After their tutoring session, he went to see Lize, only to be told by Mari that she had fallen asleep. Ignoring Mari’s suggestion to come back later, Raytan silently entered the room and stood watching his mother as she slept.

This always happened after she spent a night with the Emperor.

It wasn’t just because Lize had trouble sleeping in a different bed. Raytan knew there was another reason. He stared at the bottles of medicine on Lize’s dressing table with hollow eyes. The purple liquid inside those glass bottles seemed to chill him to his core.

Rising from his seat, Raytan carefully tucked the blanket around his sleeping mother before leaving the room. He knew that if he lingered even a moment longer, he might shatter those bottles with his own hands. But that wasn’t what Lize would have wanted.

In all his life, Raytan had never once gone against Lize’s wishes. Not even with those medicines. Even if he suspected that the medicine was eating away at her life, he couldn’t bring himself to defy her wishes.

As Raytan was about to leave Lize’s palace, Mari caught up with him to deliver a message from Setz. She had asked him to stop by the library once more.

That foolish girl. Can’t even find her way back on her own, can she? Raytan thought, irritated. She really had a talent for causing trouble for others. With a scowl on his face, he made his way back to the library.

But when he arrived, the library was empty. Instead, a neatly placed notebook greeted him on the desk.

• I finished my homework early.

The note was written at the very top of the page. Below it, in wobbly Khazaki characters, was a short passage.

• My name is Setz. I am twelve years old.

So much for all that effort in teaching her how to write. Raytan’s expression turned into one of mild disdain. This was the kind of sentence anyone could put together by simply glancing at a book. With a slightly exasperated look, he continued reading.

• I like strawberry cake. I also like warm milk and cocoa.

Childish. Raytan’s face started to show signs of boredom, but then his eyes narrowed slightly.

The next sentence caught his attention.

• And I like Brother Raytan too.

“……”

• I hope to study with Brother Raytan again while eating cake next time. Eating with someone you like makes the food taste even better.

“…That foolish girl,” Raytan muttered softly. He’d thought that since she had done her homework early, she might have written something more impressive. But all she had done was repeat the same sentiments over and over: I like this, I like that, I hope for this, I wish for that.

No matter how well he taught her, it seemed she wasn’t making much progress.

Raytan shook his head in disbelief. He closed the notebook, tucked it under his arm, and left the library, heading down the corridor.

I’ll have to be stricter with her lessons from now on. Maybe it’s time to start teaching her speaking practice as well. Even if the student is a fool, as long as the teacher is skilled, it should work out fine, he thought to himself with a small, private smirk.

***