To You Who Will Destroy Me - Chapter 145

The western border region of Na Mieve, governed by Duke Varel, was known as a harsh and unforgiving frontier. To the front lay the vast desert and the savage barbarian tribes, while behind it lurked the constant threat of the Kitans descending from the Ricador Mountains. Irel had mentally prepared herself for a desolate and hostile environment, a far cry from the flower-filled and laughter-filled royal capital.

But instead…

“Oh my goodness, look who it is!”

To her surprise, she was greeted with overwhelming warmth.

“Irel Elorance! How long has it been? I never imagined I’d see you here again!”

Oh… right. Who are you again? Irel blinked, caught off guard by the exuberant greeting of the young man standing before her. Luckily, as soon as their eyes met, the familiar information window popped up above his head.

[Joshua Varel: Current Favorability 59]

At least she now knew he was the son of Duke Varel. But that didn’t help much. While she racked her brain for more clues, Joshua thankfully provided a hint.

“The last time I saw you, we were both thirteen. You’ve really grown up!”

Ah! So he was a childhood friend. Irel studied Joshua’s face—his long, dark hair, a beauty mark near his eye, and his melancholic but handsome features.

‘Hmm. Looks like Irel had a happy childhood after all.’

Quickly realizing that Joshua might get suspicious if she didn’t respond soon, Irel reached out to the other “her” in her mind.

Help me out, other me!

Thankfully, her other self was still cooperative. A brief memory surfaced—a much younger Joshua, laughing shyly as he ran toward her. But he tripped over nothing and fell flat on the grass.

“Joshua! Are you okay?”

She could even vaguely recall herself reaching out to help him up. It was a relief to have a clue.

So they really were childhood friends, she thought as she smiled warmly.

In a slightly higher tone than usual, Irel greeted him. “It’s been so long, Joshua! I’m so happy to see you.”

“I should be saying that!” Joshua’s face lit up with joy, a happy glow replacing the melancholic look.

“You wouldn’t believe how strange this is for me, Rel. I bumped into your mother at the palace last time, and now you’re here! It’s like fate, isn’t it?”

You met my mother? Wait… I’ve heard this story before, haven’t I?

Irel vaguely remembered this conversation from when she first woke up in this body. During her first outing with her mother, Louisa had mentioned Joshua.

“I ran into the Duchess of Varel at the palace a few days ago. And guess who was with her? Joshua! He used to be so scrawny, but now he’s all grown up. I was quite surprised!”

“Really?”

“And from what I hear, he’s now an official in the Ministry of Foreign Affairs! That’s quite a promising position, as you know. And he was so kind as to escort his mother to the palace. Seems like a fine young man.”

At the time, Louisa had subtly hinted that she wouldn’t mind if Irel became engaged to Joshua. A childhood friend, a promising future—what more could any mother want in a son-in-law? He was the ideal candidate in every way.

Of course, that dream was shattered the very next day when Irel was involved in a catastrophic accident.

“My love.”

At that moment, the metaphorical “dump truck” that had derailed Louisa’s plans whispered from beside her.

“Who is this bastard? And why is he acting so friendly with you?”

He’s probably the kid next door, Irel thought sarcastically.

“And lower your voice. He can hear you, you know.”

Varkan wasn’t exactly known for subtlety, and Irel had no doubt that he intended to be heard. Still, she gave him a playful jab in the ribs before quickly turning back to Joshua.

“It’s great to see you again, Joshua! I heard you became an official in the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. Congratulations on that.”

Better late than never, she thought, offering a bright smile in an effort to keep the conversation light.

“Oh, thank you, Irel,” Joshua said, his long black hair brushing against his cheek as he tucked it behind his ear. Despite his smile, there was a sorrowful look in his eyes, accentuated by the tear-shaped beauty mark.

“But I actually resigned from the ministry. It wasn’t too long ago, in fact.”

“Really? Why?”

From what her mother had said, it sounded like a prestigious position. Irel tilted her head in curiosity. Joshua’s smile became a bit more strained.

“Well… My older brother died. As the next in line, I have to take over for him.”

His older brother… Irel’s heart sank. This was a reminder of the reality of the world they lived in, and the responsibilities that came with noble blood.

It’s over. How could I have forgotten?

The words King Phenosos had spoken earlier suddenly echoed in Irel’s mind:

“Recently, his eldest son, Sir Lut, was killed fighting the barbarians who crossed the border. Duke Varel is devastated over the loss of his heir.”

These things always come back to you after you’ve already made a mistake. Irel realized that this conversation had been doomed from the start. Still, she had to make an attempt, no matter how futile it seemed. Desperately searching for words of comfort, she stammered,

“Th-that… I’m really sorry about Sir Lut. What happened to him…”

“It’s all because of the barbarians,” Joshua replied, offering a sad smile as he glanced toward the wasteland beyond the castle walls. “My father warned him not to let his guard down, even against survivors of the desert. He always knew how dangerous they were.”

Joshua’s wistful smile and the desolate landscape behind him painted a stark contrast to his delicate, refined appearance. He seemed more suited to a life of books than one of swords and deserts. Yet, reality had forced him into this harsh role. The air between them grew somber, and Irel found herself growing melancholic as well.

But, as usual, someone completely devoid of empathy and utterly uninterested in reading the room interrupted.

“Enough small talk. Let’s get to the point.”

Varkan, who had no use for social niceties, cut in abruptly, showing no hesitation. He loomed over Joshua, who was a half-head shorter, his gaze filled with condescension as if to say, I have no time for heirs—bring me the duke.

Of course, he’s been holding back this whole time, Irel thought, shaking her head. To her surprise, Joshua, ever the gracious host, responded politely despite the clear disdain.

“It’s good to meet you, Lord Ha Mash. I appreciate the effort you’ve made traveling all the way here from the capital.”

Joshua’s sharp red hair made him instantly recognizable. Irel, simultaneously impressed by his patience and on edge, braced herself. She feared Varkan might snap back with something like, “I don’t care, where’s the duke?”

Fortunately, she intervened just in time.

“My father is currently patrolling the rear fortifications,” Joshua explained. “Recently, Kitans have been descending from the Ricador Mountains in greater numbers…”

“We know,” Varkan interrupted again, a smirk playing on his lips. “That’s why I’m here—to fix it.”

His voice dripped with the frustration of a man who was clearly above taking orders but had no choice. The role of a royal agent did not suit Varkan’s nature, but he had no choice for the time being.

“Normally, my mother would join us to welcome you, but she’s been unwell recently,” Joshua continued, his tone turning somber. “She won’t be able to receive you, so I ask for your understanding.”

Ah… of course, Irel thought immediately. The death of her eldest son had likely shattered the duchess emotionally. Should she offer some empty words of comfort? She was still contemplating it when Joshua smiled warmly, his eyes softening.

“But it’s good to have you here, Rel. You’ve grown up just like the princesses from the fairy tales we used to read together. Seeing you makes me feel like I’ve gone back to those carefree childhood days.”

At least my mother got one thing right, Irel thought. Joshua truly had a knack for speaking kindly, even in the most difficult times. His warm words stood out in stark contrast to the harsh reality around them.

“Joshua…” Irel began, moved by his kind words, but as she glanced at Varkan from the corner of her eye, she noticed something troubling.

Varkan, as handsome and composed as ever, had a smile frozen on his lips, but the chilling aura around him couldn’t be hidden.

He’s about to blow.

Irel’s eyes quickly scanned their surroundings. The fortress of Na Mieve was sturdy, built from thick stone to withstand attacks. But who knew how well it would fare against a different kind of explosion—one from within?

We didn’t come here to destroy the castle. I’d rather avoid that.

Without hesitation, she slipped her arm through Varkan’s, pulling him close in an attempt to divert the brewing storm. After all, she had become an expert at navigating potential disasters like this.

“I can’t tell you how happy I am to see you again, Joshua!” she chimed in quickly. “Oh, by the way, have you heard? I got engaged!”

Let’s redirect the conversation and avoid a catastrophe, she thought.

Irel deftly shifted the conversation, smoothly bringing Varkan into the mix. As a result, the tension that had been building in Varkan’s raised eyebrows began to ease. Joshua, oblivious to the near disaster he had narrowly avoided, nodded in agreement.

“Oh, yes, I heard. The rumors in the capital were quite the talk. People said the flower carriage engraved with your names was especially romantic.”

“Wasn’t it just? I fell for that charm immediately,” Irel responded, keeping her tone light and playful.

She could feel the tension draining from Varkan’s arm as she clung a little tighter to him, relieved that he was starting to relax. He’s being praised for his romantic gesture, she thought. He’ll behave like a gentleman now.

“I’m glad to hear it made an impression,” Varkan said smoothly, glancing down at Irel with a smile. “She knows well by now—I would do anything for her.”

His words, spoken with that effortless charm, were accompanied by a smile as he leaned in closer to her, as if about to place a kiss on her cheek. His face hovered just above hers, close enough that she could feel his warm breath tickling her hair. Then, in a scarcely audible, low whisper, his voice snaked its way to her ear.

“You’re playing with me.”

Of course, he’d figured it out. There was no way this sly fox hadn’t noticed her attempts to calm him down.

Irel glanced up, worried he might be upset. But instead of anger, Varkan’s lips ghosted over her ear, and then, with a teasing nip of his teeth, he gently bit the edge of her ear. The sharp sensation sent a shiver down her spine, followed by his honeyed whisper.

“But I don’t mind.”

His voice was thick with languid amusement, as if inviting her to continue her little game. Go ahead, try to play me more, his tone seemed to say, brushing against her senses like a velvet caress.