To You Who Will Destroy Me - Chapter 147

“What are you doing, Lady Irel?”

Yan Louis’s face appeared from below as he asked curiously. He seemed puzzled by the sight of Irel sipping tea while sitting under a canopy on the city wall, gazing out below.

“Recovering.”

Her throat was too dry for a longer response. Hearing this, Yan Louis tilted his head in confusion and asked again.

“Why? Are you feeling unwell?”

No. It was because your boss wore me out completely last night. Irel couldn’t say that, so she simply offered a sour smile.

After indulging himself thoroughly, Varkan had become almost unbearably gentle. He cradled the exhausted Irel on his chest, soothing her to sleep by stroking her back until morning. If he didn’t have to go hunt down the Kitan from the Ricador Mountains, he likely would have stayed there all day.

But a competent man always has endless tasks. Reluctantly, Varkan prepared to leave, letting Irel rest. Before he left, he gave her a farewell kiss and left behind an utterly ridiculous request.

“Don’t smile at other men while I’m gone. I’ll get jealous.”

It was only then that Irel understood why Varkan had held her so desperately the night before. Despite thinking she had handled herself well, something had clearly gotten under his skin—his childhood friend, Joshua.

“That possessiveness of his, honestly…”

As a result, Irel’s mood soured as well. Her mind was still fixated on Varkan, eager to return to bed and see him off, only to be stalled by his possessive words and lingering kisses.

“And yet, he stubbornly refused the Sevring. That was amusing.”

It was clear what his behavior meant. He hadn’t believed her reassurance that she was fine.

“I guess I can’t blame him. He’s a suspicious man by nature.”

Sighing, Irel raised a hand to her cheek. She was a little disappointed, but not angry. She knew how hard and harsh his life had been. Without that instinctive suspicion, he likely wouldn’t have survived as long as he had.

Still, letting him run wild like that wasn’t an option. Before Varkan could leave, she’d grabbed the collar of his shirt as he repeatedly pressed kisses to her lips, like he was trying to stamp his mark on her. Seizing the moment when he let his guard down, Irel pushed him against the wall.

“…Rel?”

The startled look on the usually composed, mischievous man was thrilling. He tended to treat her too much like a noble lady.

Taking advantage of the moment, Irel pressed her lips to his, boldly and without hesitation, like a seasoned pediatrician giving a baby a shot before they even knew what was happening. With their bodies close and their kiss sweet, she quickly administered the Sevring before he could resist.

The quest had been difficult, but the reward was sweet. Just a kiss was enough to complete the Sevring.

“That expression of his when he realized what happened—priceless.”

She would never forget the look of frustration on Varkan’s face once he realized he had been outmaneuvered.

The memory made her want to laugh, and Irel had to press her lips together to suppress it. Clearing her throat softly, she turned back to Yan Louis, who was still staring at her blankly.

“But why are you here, Yan Louis?” she asked.

“I’m on a scouting mission,” he replied, blinking in confusion. His answer only raised more questions, so Irel pressed further.

“Then why are you here?”

“Good question.”

What kind of exchange was this? Irel stared at him, bewildered. Sensing her disbelief, Yan Louis pulled a hurt expression.

“You’re giving me the ‘What’s wrong with this guy?’ look, Lady Irel.”

“How did you know?” she shot back playfully.

Feigning an exaggerated heart attack, Yan Louis clutched his chest and cried, “Oh no! So cruel!” Watching him, Irel let out a soft laugh, waving him off as if shooing a bird.

“If you have nothing better to do, then get going. You said you’re on a scouting mission.”

“Yeah, about that… something’s off,” Yan Louis muttered.

“What now?” Irel asked.

“I was sent to scout the barbarians, but I can’t find them anywhere. Maybe it’s the desert or the bright sunlight making it hard to see… every time I think I spot something, it turns out to be a mirage.”

Yan Louis’s voice was tinged with frustration as he complained about his struggles. For someone used to scouting like it was second nature, it was surprising to see him having such a hard time.

“Strange.”

It was indeed odd that he hadn’t found anything. In his incorporeal form, Yan Louis could move as swiftly as the wind, covering great distances in a short time.

And yet, he couldn’t find a trace of the barbarian tribe that frequently crossed the border.

“Maybe they’re hiding in some underground village or cave in the desert?”

I think I saw a documentary about something like that once. But, unsure of her memory, Irel decided to hold her tongue.

“Even so, don’t slack off. Go get back to work.” She gave Yan Louis a light push on the back, and he grumbled, “So heartless.” Despite his protest, he obediently turned to leave.

“Here. Take this in case you get hungry.” Irel placed a mini pound cake in his hand, meant for tea time. It was a small, dense cake made with plenty of butter, topped with white sugar icing and packed with raisins. Yan Louis’s eyes flickered as he looked down at it.

“Lady Irel…”

“Yes?”

“I don’t eat raisins. Especially in bread. I hate them.”

Fine, give it back then. Annoyed, Irel reached to snatch the cake from him, but Yan Louis quickly hid it behind his back, flashing a bright smile.

“Well, I’m off! See you later!!”

[Ding! Yan Louis’s affection has increased by 5 points.]

[Yan Louis Ha Mash: Current Affection – 85. He is now ‘Very Friendly’ toward you.]

I can’t with this guy. Irel laughed to herself as she watched Yan Louis dart off, protecting his cake. His affection for her had steadily increased, bit by bit, each time they met, now surpassing 80. Considering it had started in the negative when they first met, it was a remarkable improvement.

I hope everything goes well for him. And for Varkan, too. She couldn’t help but worry that Varkan might face difficulties or, worse yet, end up isolated again like he had during their time at Al Ros Condes. The thought made her feel a little sad.

“Here you are, Irel.”

A gentle voice interrupted her thoughts as Joshua appeared, climbing up to the top of the wall.

“Oh, Joshua?”

Irel greeted him absentmindedly before narrowing her eyes at him. It was the way he brushed back his long hair that caught her attention.

His white face and elegant neckline, framed by the black shirt he wore, seemed to glow in the sunlight. His long fingers moved gracefully as they combed through his wind-blown hair. But the final touch was the slightly downcast eyes and the wistful expression on his relaxed lips, giving him an air of melancholy.

Seriously, how can a man’s face look like that…?

It was fortunate that Joshua was a nobleman’s son. Irel was certain that if he ever wanted to, he could break women’s hearts—and wallets—at the same time. If he approached women with a tragic backstory, they’d probably hand over their money willingly, completely taken in by his charm.

No, I can’t be thinking like this. Get it together, Irel. She quickly shook off the thoughts of her fiancé, whose beauty was like that of a dangerous, alluring flower.

When Joshua sat down in front of her, she asked, “You stayed at the castle? I thought you left with Varkan.”

“Oh, I did see him off this morning. He certainly seemed like a powerful man, even at a glance.”

Joshua chuckled, commenting on how different the Ha Mash warriors were, but his smile faded into something bitter and a little sour.

“I wish I were that strong. Unfortunately, I’m nothing like my brother… I’ve never had a knack for the sword. Some heir to the western border I’ll make, right?”

Hmm. Indeed, Irel’s memories of Joshua were mostly of him stumbling or crying as a child. She suppressed a laugh as she tried to comfort him with a lighthearted joke.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m no good at fighting either.”

Surprisingly, Joshua’s eyes widened slightly before he gave her a clear, bright smile.

“You haven’t changed a bit.”

“Me?” Irel asked.

“You’ve always been like that. Sensitive to others’ pain, and so kind.”

His voice was soft, almost a whisper, and the tenderness in Joshua’s gaze was clear.

[Ding! Joshua’s affection has increased by 3 points.]

Even the system message appeared, making Irel subtly avoid his eyes, thinking, This is dangerous.

Joshua Varel, with his wounded, melancholic air, perfectly fit the type that Lee Raeyeon—her past self—would have adored. If she were still playing the game Salvation, Joshua would have undoubtedly become her favorite.

But she was no longer Lee Raeyeon. And hadn’t someone once said that tastes change over time?

They were right. Her eyes had been completely drawn to the vivid, overwhelming presence of Varkan. Now, as she looked at Joshua, whose aura was as soft as a watercolor painting, she thought that his gentle hues should touch her heart. But they didn’t. Not even close.

Oil-coated, huh? There was no chance for the diluted watercolor to seep in. Lifting her chin proudly, like the woman engaged to a man she admired, she said, “Don’t worry too much, Joshua. Varkan is incredibly strong. He’ll help Lord Varel protect this land.”

“You’re right. He certainly seems capable of that.”

Joshua gave her a faint smile before turning his gaze toward the land that stretched beyond the castle walls—the frontier of Namiève, which he would spend the rest of his life defending.

What was going through his mind at that moment? Joshua, the second son of a great count, introverted and more fond of books than swords, had never imagined he’d become the heir to a marquisate. With an older brother as brave as their father, he had once dreamed of working in the diplomatic corps, dedicating himself to his passion for foreign relations.

Yet here he was now, holding a sword that still didn’t feel quite right in his hand.

Thinking of this, Irel felt a pang of sympathy for him. Just then, as he stared off into the distance, Joshua muttered absentmindedly, “But why was Father so against it?”