To You Who Will Destroy Me - Chapter 148

“Was he against it? Against what exactly? Varkan? Or maybe the idea of receiving help in general?”

Irel made a mental note of Joshua’s words. Considering that the king himself had sent Varkan to the western frontier, it was likely that Count Varel was a loyalist. So, Varkan’s presence, with his ambitions toward the throne, wouldn’t have been well-received.

“In other words, this place could be dangerous, too.”

Though Joshua was smiling gently now, there was no telling what was going on in his mind. As she smiled back, thoughts racing, Irel felt a wave of disquiet.

“What has become of me?” she wondered.

She had grown so suspicious. It was sad, but inevitable. She couldn’t afford to be careless and risk putting those who sought to protect her in danger.

“Hey, Joshua.”

Irel’s tone was bright and harmless. Although she hadn’t been brought to the battlefield due to her lack of combat skills, she wasn’t planning to sit idly by. She had her own way of contributing.

“I heard that the Namiève Fortress has a Masaka stationed here, is that right?”

It was something she had learned recently: each frontier stronghold had at least one Masaka assigned to it by the kingdom. It wasn’t exactly a secret, so Joshua nodded easily.

“Yes. Right now, Erich Ha Mash is stationed here with us.”

“I’m curious. What’s he like?”

Irel asked, resting her chin on her hands with an innocent, curious expression, as if she were just a naive noblewoman visiting a military outpost for the first time.

Even her white, rabbit-like appearance could be useful when necessary. Her delicate demeanor lowered Joshua’s guard.

“Erich is an amazing person. They say Masakas tend to be eccentric, but even after enduring the desert sandstorms, he always wears a smile. But don’t mistake his kindness for weakness. In times of crisis, his decisiveness and judgment are nothing short of extraordinary.”

“Hmm, I see. And what’s his ability?”

Joshua hesitated for a moment. Even though he had entered the diplomatic corps, he was still aware of the need to be cautious with sensitive information. But Irel’s casual response came before he could decide.

“Come on, Varkan is probably with Erich right now, fighting off the Kitan together. What’s the harm?”

“That’s true.”

Irel’s reasoning was sound. After all, Varkan would return and likely relay everything, so withholding the information now would be pointless.

On top of that, Irel’s comment served as a reminder that she and Varkan were here to help the western region. Excluding them from important information would be unreasonable.

Joshua, still not entirely used to his role as the heir of the marquisate, lowered his guard once more. Not because of Irel’s pretty face smiling back at him from her flower-like pose. Absolutely not.

“Erich creates walls.”

“Walls?”

“Yes, literal walls. He can raise defensive barriers around the fortress or even encircle the Kitan, trapping them within. His ability is indispensable to us.”

Wow. If he weren’t a Masaka, he could’ve made a fortune as an architect. As she entertained the thought, Irel nodded along attentively. However, Joshua suddenly sighed deeply at the end of his explanation.

“Sigh.”

“What’s wrong, Joshua?”

“Oh, it’s nothing. Really.”

“Sure, it’s nothing,” Irel thought, recognizing that he clearly wanted to talk but was hesitant. She didn’t push him, not wanting to risk shutting him down. Instead, she softened her expression with concern.

“Things must be really tough for you, huh, Joshua? I mean… everything has changed so suddenly.”

Her understanding tone seemed to strike a chord, as the delicate arches of his eyebrows relaxed slightly. He remained quiet for a moment, lost in thought, before giving a slightly sad smile.

“Yeah. It’s the duty and responsibility of a noble, of course… but I’ve come to realize how unprepared I really am.”

“Even so, you’re handling everything remarkably well. I’m truly impressed by you.”

Was it her imagination, or did Joshua’s eyes grow slightly misty at her words? He remained silent for a while, as if trying to contain his emotions, before quietly asking, “But are you okay?”

“What do you mean?”

“Living as a Risevra… isn’t it difficult for you?”

You have no idea. Irel forced a smile, her lips pressing tightly together to hide the whirlwind of feelings inside. If she were to write about everything that had happened since meeting Varkan, it would fill at least five volumes.

But she couldn’t talk about all of that with Joshua. Instead, she kept her emotions in check and flashed a bright, carefree smile.

“Varkan treats me very well. And, as you know, I’m not strong. It’s safer and easier to lean on someone else, don’t you think? After all, I’ve lived my whole life that way.”

What could I possibly do on my own? She shrugged and held out her flawless, unscarred hands as if to prove her point. It was a calculated move to lower Joshua’s guard, but instead, he frowned.

“Don’t talk about yourself like that, Irel.”

“Huh?”

“You’re stronger than you think. You’ve always been. Even when you looked fragile on the outside, you were tough inside. You’ve been that way since we were kids.”

For a moment, Irel felt a lump rise in her throat, almost moved to tears by his sincerity. Silence fell between them, but it was a warm and comforting one.

“Actually…” Joshua began, his voice soft and hesitant. Perhaps it was because they had just shared their burdens that he felt comfortable enough to finally open up.

“It was hard losing my brother, of course. But… I was also deeply affected by Masaka Seraphine’s death.”

Masaka Seraphine? Irel had heard that name before. She quickly recalled what King Phenosos had told her:

“Make your way to the western border as soon as possible. They’re desperately short-handed right now. One of the Masakas, Seraphine, died along with Lord Ruth during battle.”

That’s right. There were originally two Masakas assigned to the western border. One was Seraphine, who had died alongside the eldest son of Count Varel. The other was Erich, who was currently in the mountains fighting the Kitan, using his ability to raise walls.

“You asking about Erich reminded me of Seraphine… and I couldn’t help but sigh,” Joshua admitted.

“Were you two close?”

“Yeah. Seraphine had been with my family since I was a child. He wasn’t related to us by blood, but he was like an uncle to me.”

“Losing someone like that must have been hard,” Irel said, her voice gentle.

Joshua nodded, his expression distant as he seemed to get lost in his memories. “I was the second son, not the heir, and I dreamed of becoming a diplomat, so I spent most of my time in the capital or traveling abroad. But whenever I came back to Namiève, Seraphine was always there. Being a Masaka, he never aged, so no matter how much time passed, he always looked the same. It gave me a strange sense of comfort.”

To Joshua, Seraphine was like a constant presence, a piece of home. But to lose him alongside his older brother… Joshua’s grief must have been twice as heavy. Yet, most people only focused on the death of the heir to the Varel family, overshadowing Joshua’s personal loss.

He hadn’t even been able to openly mourn. Now, finally reunited with his old friend, Irel, he could release the feelings that had been bottled up inside, as if a weight had been lifted.

“I’m sure he’s in a good place now,” Irel said, her expression serious as she tried to comfort him.

“Seraphine was a Ha Mash, a child of the divine. He’s probably resting peacefully in the most comfortable spot in heaven.”

Though she knew that some troubling truths had been uncovered about that “divine” being, it was still classified information. For now, she stuck to what was commonly accepted to offer Joshua solace.

Her words, as a Risevra—someone intimately connected with the Masakas—held weight, and Joshua seemed comforted.

“You’re right, Rel. Thanks,” he said with a clearer, lighter smile. “But let’s not dwell on sad topics anymore. I’m just happy to see you after so long. There’s so much I want to ask you.”

“Feel free to ask anything.”

Is it my turn to answer now? Irel thought, bracing herself as she offered Joshua a gentle smile. To her surprise, his first question was a simple one—he asked about her family.

“How’s everyone in Elorance? I saw your mother at the palace not long ago, and she looked as graceful as ever.”

“Really? She’d be happy to hear that. She actually mentioned you recently.”

“Did she? What did she say?”

I should probably leave out the part about the diplomatic corps, Irel mused, knowing it would likely touch on a sore spot for Joshua. With that thought in mind, she casually relayed the rest of what her mother had said.

“She said you’ve grown tall and have become quite handsome.”

“Oh.”

It was a simple remark, yet Joshua quickly turned his head, covering his mouth with one hand. Irel stared at him, wondering what was going on, until she noticed the flush of red creeping up his pale ears through his long black hair.

[Ding! Joshua’s affection has increased by 6 points.]

And with that, the likelihood of Joshua being murdered by Varkan’s hand also increased by 6 percent.