What Remains in the Damaged Place - Chapter 101

Following the doctor’s advice to keep her body warm, Lirette had been drinking tea every morning lately. She glanced at him, seated next to her.

“Shall I pour you a cup?”

“If you want.”

Since he was sitting right there, it wouldn’t be right to only serve herself, so Lirette calmly prepared his tea.

She neatly placed a cup of Darjeeling, suitable for today’s weather, on the table in front of him.

He was still in a raw state, having just woken up, with his hair and clothes unkempt. Yet, the way he grasped the teacup and brought it to his lips, sipping it smoothly, held an undeniable depth.

“You’ve improved a lot.”

Lirette, who was pouring her own cup after preparing his, opened her eyes wide at his comment.

“Your tea was awful before—so bad it made me lose my appetite.”

The unexpected criticism was aimed at the tea she had just made.

“But you never said anything at the time.”

“I let it slide with my great generosity.”

Lirette felt a bit taken aback. She had gone out of her way to make him tea, yet now it felt like she was being scolded.

“Then why didn’t you just tell me?”

“If I had, you would’ve raised your eyebrows and started saying sharp things.”

“What are you talking about? Being reckless with words is your specialty.”

“See? You’re already being mean, and it hurts my feelings.”

His exaggerated behavior, so different from the sarcastic or critical remarks she used to hear from him, caused one of his eyes to crinkle as if he were deeply hurt.

Lirette couldn’t help but laugh, unable to suppress her amusement at his dramatic display.

After finishing their tea, a somewhat late meal was served. As they ate together, chatting softly, Lirette felt a cool breeze brush her face.

“The weather has been wonderful lately.”

Each time she felt the spring breeze against her skin, a strange sensation filled her.

Around this time last year, she had believed it would be her last spring here.

It was fascinating how the feelings that soaked into her heart through her eyes were now so different. She no longer expected to be cast aside, no longer faced a life with an expiration date, or feared being discarded like an unnecessary part. Her mind felt clearer.

She could simply take in the scenery without complications, just as it was.

“What are your plans for today?”

Leaning lazily against the back of his chair, he whispered into her neck, playfully brushing against her.

“I’m not sure. First, I’ll wash up and head outside. I’ve been indoors too much lately, and it’s getting boring.”

“The lake.”

“…”

“Shall we visit it again?”

Lirette, who had been gazing out the window, turned her head toward him.

The lake.

The mere mention of those two syllables stirred up memories she had tried to suppress.

Those were the days when she hid her feelings and ignored his true intentions, barely holding herself together.

Their last outing before she left had been like a final memory.

Valderion’s gaze was serious, contrasting with his otherwise relaxed demeanor.

In the past, every time he looked at her like that, it had made it hard for her to breathe.

She used to believe that his attitude toward her was all an act, that the moment she stopped being useful, she would be discarded. That belief weighed on her like a heavy stone.

But not anymore.

Each time she recalled the word “love” that he had once thrown at her, the weight disappeared, replaced by a slow and certain warmth that spread through her, like drinking warm water.

She could tell he was being brave.

The trip to the lake must have left unpleasant memories for him as well, entangled in misunderstandings like a storm. Yet here he was, making this proposal… It showed he didn’t want to leave the past as it was.

As if he believed that, while the past couldn’t be erased, new memories could be added on top of it.

“Alright.”

For that reason, Lirette accepted without hesitation.

***

Spring in the forest carried its own unique charm.

The lingering traces of the recently melted ice were giving way to fresh warmth, slowly peeking out.

As they walked toward the boat dock, Camon, who had circled around them excitedly, leapt onto the boat that had been prepared for the outing.

Lirette had worried the lake might still be frozen, but the quickly warming weather had thawed it, and it lay before them, just as she remembered.

“Careful.”

He boarded the boat first, calming the overly excited Camon, and reached out his hand toward Lirette, who was standing at the dock.

This time, instead of a cumbersome, lavish dress, she wore a simpler, more elegant one as she carefully stepped onto the boat.

During her time recovering in the bedroom, the thing she did most was read. The second was getting her measurements repeatedly taken by the tailor who visited the mansion, and trying on the various dresses he made.

She thought that even a young lady preparing for her debutante ball would have had it easier than she did on some of those days.

Still, she was relieved it had stopped at just the dresses.

At first, hats, bags, parasols, gloves, and various accessories were all being prepared, but those were eventually set aside, leaving only the dresses.

Of course, just because it was only dresses didn’t mean she had full say over them. Even after she chose one from the endless options, all the dresses delivered to the mansion ended up in her wardrobe, regardless of her preferences.

Lirette had an inkling that this whole ordeal wouldn’t end until Valderion was satisfied.

As expected, after buying so many dresses that they couldn’t all fit in the bedroom wardrobe, and having two extra ones brought in, his impulsive spending finally stopped.

Sitting on the boat’s cushioned seat, Lirette glanced around.

It seemed the boat had been newly refurbished during her absence, as it looked a bit different than before. As she absentmindedly fiddled with some cushions, she noticed a steady gaze on her from the side.

Stopping what she was doing, she turned her head to find Valderion staring at her with an unusual look in his eyes.

It wasn’t hard to figure out what he was thinking. The desire in his gaze was so intense that even the bright sunlight couldn’t obscure it.

“It’s nothing.”

Only then did Lirette realize what her constant fiddling with the cushion had meant to him.

When she hastily denied it, Valderion chuckled softly.

“What do you mean, it’s nothing?”

“I wasn’t… thinking about that.”

“And how do you know what I’m thinking?”

Valderion, who had pulled the cushion back toward him and was now leaning casually against it, stared at her intently.

It was a look that urged her to answer.

“You were thinking… something bad.”

“Something bad?”

The way he was acting made it feel like they had been thrown back to a time in the past.

Back when, at just a glance, he would pounce on her, flipping her skirts and thrusting his eager, urgent self inside her, in a wild and primal way…

“Is it a bad thought for me to want to hold you?”

His fingers wrapped around the back of her hand, slowly trailing across her skin before interlocking with hers. The gentle motion of his touch sent a whirl of thoughts through her mind.

There had been a time when they had been as close as animals in heat, even carrying his child within her. But somehow, the passing of time had made all of this feel unfamiliar.

Or perhaps it was the lingering aftermath of the miscarriage.

She still wasn’t quite ready… for that.

“Lirette.”

“…”

“Why are you so tense?”

His fingers tapped her cheek lightly.

“If you don’t want to, I won’t force anything, so don’t worry.”

After his fingers brushed her cheek, his lips followed, leaving a gentle kiss on the spot. Then, he rose from the seat where he had been sitting.

Lirette watched as Valderion walked over to the side table, uncorking a bottle and pouring himself a drink.

Just then, she felt a tug at her skirt, causing her to sway slightly. Looking down, she saw Camon had approached and was wagging his tail energetically by her feet.

“Camon.”

When Lirette reached out, Camon eagerly lifted his front paws and nestled himself between her knees.

Soon, Camon’s black fur began to cling to the light blue fabric of her dress. Lirette didn’t mind and embraced him, allowing Camon to lick and tickle her neck with his tongue.

“You seem to like Camon more than me.”

Valderion, now holding two glasses of liquor, returned and grumbled as if he were annoyed. Despite his fondness for Camon, he looked slightly concerned that the dog’s enthusiastic behavior might be a bit much for Lirette’s still-recovering body. He gestured to shoo Camon away.

But Lirette shook her head, signaling that it was fine.

Though he still looked dissatisfied, Valderion relented and let it go.

She continued stroking Camon, who rested his head comfortably on her lap, enjoying her affectionate touch. Then, she bent down and inhaled the familiar scent from the soft fur covering his head.

“Do you know? There’s a faint trace of your scent on Camon.”

Valderion, in the middle of taking a sip from his glass, frowned in confusion.

“My scent?”

“Yes.”

“Wouldn’t it be easier to just smell me directly?”