What Remains in the Damaged Place - Chapter 95

The weight of the loss felt so intense that it seemed incomprehensible how much life had been inside her, making it hard to believe it was too late now. After being captured by Dylan, there were many factors that could have led to the miscarriage—lack of proper nutrition, immense psychological stress, and the physical trauma, like when Dylan’s shoulder had pressed down on her abdomen.

Most of all, there was a clear memory.

When she had leapt off the horse and finally found herself in Valderion’s arms again, an unbearable pain had surged from deep within her belly. It had felt as if something was being violently ripped away from her, as though some part of her had been severed by an invisible blade.

Right before she lost consciousness, Lirette had vaguely suspected what was happening. Maybe, just maybe, that pain…

But now, faced with the truth she had feared, it crushed her. It was like the ground beneath her feet gave way and crumbled, pulling her into a dark abyss of unbearable grief.

She had never experienced such an all-consuming, piercing sense of loss.

Her eyes, still searching the empty space in front of her, began to fill with tears again. Her vision blurred, and the tears she had fought so hard to hold back spilled over once more.

“Lirette,” Valderion’s deep voice called her name softly, his large hand cupping her tear-soaked cheek, gently wiping away the endless stream of tears. Even though more tears came, he kept wiping them away, over and over.

This pain wasn’t hers alone. It was shared between them—an emotion only the two who had been parents could feel. She could see it clearly in his expression: the pain he felt was as deep as hers.

He was mourning the child they had lost—the child he hadn’t even known existed until it was too late.

She, the one who had carried the child, had lost it.

There was no point in trying to compare whose grief was greater.

“As long as you’re safe, that’s all that matters,” he said softly, as if trying to offer her comfort, even though he himself was crumbling inside.

Lirette cried in his arms for a long time, letting the vast ocean of sorrow inside her flow out, little by little.

***

“Did you hear? Daisy’s being let go by the end of this week.”

“No way. Daisy? She’s the next one?”

In the vast Alter Forest surrounding the outskirts of the duke’s estate, there were three separate laundry areas. Of them, the most secluded spot deep inside the forest was favored by the maids. It was considered almost like a peaceful stroll, with the beautiful view of the forest, and the privacy allowed them to chat freely without prying ears.

Raviena and Esh, who had been tasked with the laundry, were whispering, their voices hushed as they discussed the recent developments.

“I mean, she was the one spreading all those rumors,” Esh said, lowering her voice further.

“You mean about the duke’s bedroom?”

“Exactly! She ran her mouth without any care, and it finally got back to the head maid.”

“That woman is terrifying. Pretending not to hear anything but always knowing everything that’s going on behind the scenes.”

Raviena nervously laughed, wondering if she had ever said something careless that might have reached the wrong ears.

“Well, as long as it’s not related to Brilline, I think we’re safe. Daisy’s getting fired because of that, after all.”

“Speaking of Brilline, there’s a rumor going around that even her name is fake.”

“What do you mean, her name is fake?”

“I’m talking about Brilline. Apparently, that’s not her real name.”

“Then what is it?”

“I don’t know the details. But I heard that she came here under a false identity. Some say she’s the daughter of a noble family.”

“Impossible. If that were true, why would she work as a maid?”

“Who knows? But the estate’s been in complete chaos lately. Everyone’s on edge, worried they might have accidentally upset Brilline at some point.”

Esh rubbed her shoulder, clearly exhausted by all the rumors. Raviena nodded in agreement, sharing her fatigue.

The subject of their conversation was none other than the duke’s mistress, who had recently returned to the estate.

Even the servants had sensed that something unusual had been going on since the late emperor’s funeral, but no one had anticipated it would end this way. The fact that the duke’s mistress—who had once been a mere maid—had now taken over the duchess’s bedroom was shocking beyond words.

What made the situation even more unbelievable was the duke’s behavior. Ever since he had found his mistress after her mysterious disappearance, he had barely left her side. His doting care and attention to her were unmistakably the actions of a man deeply in love.

The hottest topic among the estate’s servants these days was the reports of the duke’s behavior inside the duchess’s bedroom. The most talked-about moment occurred two days ago, when a maid had seen the duke tenderly brush back his mistress’s hair and kiss her forehead while she slept.

“I’d love to hear more about that story,” Raviena murmured as she and Esh walked along the secluded path.

Suddenly, they both stopped in their tracks. A voice, unfamiliar and smooth, interrupted their conversation.

The sunlight filtering through the green leaves was so bright it made them squint. Raviena instinctively furrowed her brow against the glare. Step. The figure, which had been hidden among the dense trees, now emerged more clearly.

The sunlight illuminated golden hair, blowing gently in the breeze.

“Ahhh!”

Suddenly, a scream pierced the air behind Raviena.

Her eyes widened in disbelief as she turned to witness a terrifying scene: a massive man had appeared out of nowhere and had seized Esh, the maid who had been walking with her. The man held a blade against Esh’s throat, positioning her as a hostage.

“Wh-what is this…?” Raviena stammered, fear creeping into her voice as the situation grew more unsettling.

Her instincts took over, and she began to step back, one shaky step at a time. But as she retreated, something cold pressed against the back of her head. Though her eyes couldn’t see behind her, Raviena knew instantly what it was: the barrel of a gun.

“Hey,” a voice said.

“…”

“Do me a favor, would you?”

The chilling voice shattered the peaceful afternoon sunlight. Its cold, commanding tone shrank Raviena’s courage to the size of a grain. When someone presses a gun to your head, their “request” is never really a request.

“It won’t be too hard…” the voice continued.

Despite the lethargic drawl of the speaker, there was no hint of defiance in Raviena. The pale blue eyes that glimmered in the dappled sunlight had a frighteningly cold intensity.

***

Lirette stirred from her sleep, roused by the sound of a steady conversation.

Wrapped warmly in blankets, she slowly opened her eyes, unable to resist the soft nudge of sunlight filtering into the room. She noticed two maids, dressed in the same servant uniforms she had once worn daily.

They were likely setting the table with food, their hands moving busily as they spoke. One of them glanced over at the bed where Lirette lay, checking to see if she was awake. Lirette quickly shut her eyes again, hoping to avoid notice.

Their chattering continued unabated, like an overflowing stream of words. If it had been louder, it might have been irritating, but the sound of birds chirping from the open window mingled with the conversation, making the morning noise feel rather pleasant.

Lirette, still lingering in the remnants of her dreamlike sleep, remained quiet, allowing the maids to continue talking.

“Where’s Raviena been disappearing to lately?”

“Right? She sneaks off at night when everyone’s asleep.”

“Really?”

“I’m telling you! I saw her sneaking out last night.”

“Maybe she’s meeting someone in secret?”

“Oh, you mean a man?”

“It’s possible. Last time, I noticed some leaves stuck to her clothes. She’s probably having a secret rendezvous in the forest…”

“Who do you think it is?”

“Not sure. But that new gardener’s apprentice is pretty cute.”

Lirette shifted slightly in her sleep, unintentionally making a small movement that caused the maids to lower their voices. She hadn’t meant to startle them, but their reaction made it clear just how uneasy they felt around her.

It was understandable. She had barely spoken to any of the household staff since her return, and the maids seemed to rotate regularly, ensuring that no one became too familiar with her. In a way, it was a relief. If it had been someone like Del, who she had once worked with in the kitchen, it would have been even more uncomfortable.

Thanks to Valderion’s orders and the head maid’s quick handling of things, she had avoided too many awkward encounters.

After a short while, it seemed the maids had finished setting the table, as they quietly left the room.

Only after hearing the door close did Lirette push the light blankets aside and sit up. She glanced at the clock on the table—time had passed more than she expected. It wasn’t morning anymore but closer to lunch.

Lirette began eating alone, though her appetite wasn’t great. She picked at her food, eating slowly, more out of habit than hunger. Almost unconsciously, her hand moved to her stomach, a gesture she had done countless times before. Even though she knew there was nothing there anymore, her hand still instinctively reached down.

She quickly withdrew her hand when she heard the door open.

“Excuse me. Have you finished your meal?” a maid asked politely as she approached.

Lirette stopped poking at the half-eaten food with her utensils. She didn’t want to waste the meal, but forcing herself to finish it felt impossible.

Despite her repeated requests to reduce the portion sizes, Valderion refused to compromise on this. Every time she brought it up, he would respond not with words but by gently stroking her wrist or ankle. It felt like his way of saying, With a body this frail, how can you even ask such a thing?

The maid spoke again, interrupting her thoughts.

“If it’s alright with you, the master suggested taking a walk after your meal,” she said, her tone formal yet kind.